Warsaw - Feb 2022

Well, hello! Welcome to the Spring 2022 Edition of An English Fool Abroad with his Sketchbook. Can you believe that it’s been two years since I last left the shores of dear old Blighty, sketchbook in hand, to add another European country and capital city to the list of those that I’ve bagged. What’s that – you didn’t mind the wait? Blooming cheek. Yes, alright, I know that I visited Edinburgh last summer, and thoroughly enjoyed it. But Warsaw‘s not Edinburgh. We’ll come to that.

I had a late flight to Warsaw yesterday. We arrived at gone 10 local time. Here’s another thing. I didn’t know that Poland is on CET which is only one hour ahead of the UK, I don’t really know why, but I somehow assumed it would be more than that. Now, Warsaw has two airports. If you’re a quizzer, or maybe even if you’re not, then you’ll know that Chopin airport serves Warsaw. Named, appropriately enough, after Frederick Chopin, it’s fairly close to Warsaw. Then there’s Modlin airport. I don’t know for certain that it’s named after the 1960s and 70s broadcaster Monty Modlin, and I have to say that I would be surprised if the good people of Warsaw are even aware of his work, let alone fans of it. Blimey, there can’t be many of us in the UK who remember him either. However, I digress. Compared with Chopin airport, Modlin is a fair old step from Warsaw. Now, I hate spending out on taxis, or airport transfers. However, frantic googling on Sunday and Monday revealed that the route to the hotel was going to be long and involved. What I decided upon was to take the advertised courtesy bus from the airport to Modlin station – yes, free, so very attractive to me, then the train from Modlin to Warsaw central station, then to walk from the central station to the hotel.

So I waited for the courtesy bus. And waited. And waited. Every 15 minutes my arse. After about ¾ of an hour I gave in and caught a taxi to the station. AT the station, I was amazed how cheap the ticket was. The length of the journey is slightly longer than taking the train from Port Talbot to Cardiff. I’m not sure how much that costs nowadays, but I bet it’s more than £2.90, which is what I worked out the journey had cost me.

Okay, so I was at Warsawa Centralna station, and to be honest I just couldn’t face the half hour walk I’d worked out in advance. Yes, I know, they will be forcing me to tear up my international cheapskate card after this. So I took a taxi. I was quoted 40 zloty – that's just over 7 quid, so not too bad, and I agreed. Well, when we arrived, I handed over a 100 note, and the driver tried to pull the ‘I ain’t got no change, guvnor’ routine. I mean he didn’t say exactly those words, but the gist was the same. Now, if I’d gone along with this I would really have been drummed out of the international cheapskates club, so I stood my ground, insisted, and after 5 minutes, lo and behold, he did find some change. There you go.

I took a while to fall asleep, but when I awoke I was determined to make the best of the day. I took breakfast in the hotel. 30 zloty – about £5:40. I can’t remember who (apologies if it’s you)but I was having a conversation with someone a while back about whether I was nervous going on my own, and I said something bland like – if you wouldn’t behave like that at home, don’t behave like that in someone else’s country. If all else fails, play the clueless, helpless English fool, and hope that sympathy will get you through. We went on to talk about things that you would do on holiday that you wouldn’t do at home, and one of them was that I wouldn’t mix sausage, ham and hard boiled eggs with American waffles like I did this morning. And two cappuccinos and two glasses of orange juice. Look, if you don’t want me going back for thirds, then you only have to say so (but you’d better have a smile on your face when you say it).

Off exploring, then. Now, I’d worked out that the route to the royal castle of Warsaw consisted of basically following the Vistula River – which I can see from the window of my room as I write, or I would if I hadn’t closed the blinds – northwards. Yes, for about half an hour as it turned out. Made me feel slightly better about taking the taxi last night. Now, I hope that the membership committee of International Cheapskates read this next bit. There was a cunning plan behind the decision to visit the castle today. It’s free on Wednesdays. I enjoyed it too, well worth a look if you’re ever in Warsaw. One of the most interesting things about it was the way that the castle had to be rebuilt after World War II. And you really don’t need to go very far in Warsaw to find other reminders of the way that the city and its people suffered during the 19th and 20th centuries. I made the first sketch of the day in castle square, with my back to the castle as I sketched King Sigismund’s Column. Please supply your own innuendo if you need one.

King Sigismund Vasa III is the chap it memorialises, and was put there on the initiative of his son, King Ladislaus IV. Incidentally, Vasa was the name of a dynasty of Swedish Kings, so I shall have to find out the connection there. There is a legend associated with the statue. When King Sigismund lowers his sabre it is a sign that catastrophe is imminent, and apparently the statue suffered damage of this kind in 1944, just before the Uprising.

The Uprising. I took a mooch around the old town where I was impressed to see an open air skating rink in the middle of the town square. Nobody skating on it mind you, but I can’t blame them because it’s very slippy out there. Following that, I walked to the Monument to the 1944 uprising. Organised by the Polish Resistance in the summer of 1944, the idea was that the uprising would see Polish patriots try to liberate Warsaw from the retreating German army, who were being pushed back by the Red Army. The Red Army halted operations, which enabled the German army to eventually defeat the insurgents and destroy parts of the city in retaliation. The Uprising lasted over 60 days, and resulted in a huge loss of life, and destruction of the city. The monument was unveiled in 1989, ironically just months before the end of the communist era. Beautiful, I don’t think it is. Powerful , striking and moving it most definitely is.

Be honest, you’re probably waiting for me to use the T words aren’t you? That’s trams and trains, folks. My view was –why put off the inevitable. I love trams and I love Metros or Underground railways, so these two were always going to be on the agenda for this, the first day. A relatively short walk from the Monument was a metro station. Allow me to share its name with you –Ratusz Arsenal. Now, if this didn’t immediately make you think of the phrase – not giving a Rat’s A**e – then you’re a far better, less childish person than I am. To be fair to myself I did manage to stop giggling after about a quarter of an hour. Not that impressed with the Metro if I’m honest. The couple of stations I used were pretty non-descript, in that bland, central European way. What have these people got against plastering the walls with advertising, like the tube does. Lot of concrete too, but then any city which suffered as Warsaw has in the last 100 years is certainly going to have more than its fair share of concrete.

Mid to late afternoon and I decided to stop feeding the soul and start feeding the body. Luckily I found a place serving genuine Polish cuisine. I think it might have been founded by a Scottish émigré, hence the name, McDonalds. Alright, eating McDonalds is not big and it’s not clever, but if it makes you feel any better, I did get my comeuppance for it. While I was riding the Metro there must have been a bit of a downpour, since when I emerged from the station everyone had umbrellas up and the streets were soaking. Well I avoided that one, but when I came out of McDonalds it came back for another go. It didn’t help that they were only doing takeouts when I went in. And let me tell you this, McDonalds bags do not like the wet. Thankfully I found a covered tramstop. I was there for a long time too, since I made my first tram sketch of the trip before I picked a random tram to get on.

And that, ladies and gents, is just about it. Tomorrow the Museum of Warsaw is freemans, so I shall definitely be going there. I also fancy the hop on hop off sightseeing tour too. Other than that, well, we’ll see where the mood takes me. Have a good evening, and tune in tomorrow for more of this nonsense